Saturday Meanderings

I have been out and about again today. The day started off with a Zoom get-together with two dear friends, which was absolutely wonderful. Having moved to a whole new corner of the world where I don't know too many people, I treasure these zoom friend dates. They make me feel connected and supported and happy to spend time with wonderful people. 

Then it was off to the recycling center. I'm sure you want to know what it looks like, yes?

  

I had several weeks worth of cardboard and cans and such, so there were a lot of trips to and from the car. There were two adorable little boys whose eyes got very wide with surprise when I accidentally started dumping my aluminum cans into the tin can receptacle. Oh no! Rule breaking! They giggled while I fished out my errant cans. I'm glad I provided surprise entertainment this morning. 

 Then I set off on a back road toward Langley, the village that is nearest to my house. Along the way, I stopped when I came upon a barn quilt decorating a local grange hall. One should always stop to admire a barn quilt, I say. It reminded me that I have not yet found the two barn quilts that I painted a few summers back. They are in the garage in some box somewhere, I know. It will be fun to hang them in the yard when I do finally find them.

 But onward, to Langley. I love Langley. A cute little village, right on Puget Sound. What's not to love?

 

The "downtown" consists of two parallel streets of shops and restaurants. It's tiny but oh so charming. 

 

Heading in, there were big black crows lining the road for a stretch. Excellent Halloween decorations.

And look, fall flower pots accessorized with brooms and pumpkins. Far better than the typical bats and skeletons, to my mind. 

One of my favorite shops in town is the Star Store, a wonderful mercantile with something for everyone. There have home goods, clothing, shoes, cards, a wine area, and even a toy area tucked up stairs.

 

There is also a substantial grocery area, where you can get a sandwich made for you at the deli or various prepared foods to take home. I got a half-sandwich of ham and swiss on rosemary bread to eat later at an appropriate scenic spot. It was delicious. 

From there, I headed on back roads in the direction of Freeland, which is a bit south, along more tree-lined roads.

I enjoyed the Halloween decorations along the way. These guys were just hanging out at one intersection.

Following my GPS map and trying to just stay along the water's edge, I came upon a new-to-me area which appeared to be the Baby Island Homeowners' Association. And look, I think that must be Baby Island.

 

I got out of the car to get closer.  Mainly a rock, with some grass, I think?

Baby Island! That immediately reminded me of a Scholastic paper back book I bought in elementary school that still sits on my bedroom bookshelf - Baby Island by Carol Ryrie Brink, the author of Caddie Woodlawn. Remember TAB books, and how you'd check off your desired purchases on the newsprint sheet, and the books would be delivered right to your desk a few weeks later? This was one of those. 

Does this cover look familiar? This is the exact one I have. I have a vague memory of a story of girls who have to take care of a bunch of babies. Here's the Amazon synopsis:  

"When a ferocious storm hits their ship, young Mary and Jean become stranded on a deserted island. They’re not the only survivors; with them are four babies. Immediately the sisters set out to make the island a home for themselves and the little ones. A classic tale of courage and dedication from a Newbery Medalist author."

I may need to read this tonight. 

But I kept on going, admiring the Baby Island neighborhood.

 

I was enjoying the pretty houses set off the road in big fields.  (Excuse the less-than-ideal photography. I pulled over and snapped this fast.)

Then I'd turn and see water again. Remember, this is an island.

Oh, and I stumbled on ANOTHER dahlia garden. The stand was empty but I jumped out to take a quick photo. It made me so happy to see these flowers.

In Freeland, I ventured into a few stores. I was in search of better recycling bins for the garage, as the small ones I have are simply not very useful, and I need to have four separate sorting bins. (I must keep those tin cans and aluminum cans separate, you know!) The hardware store did not have what I needed. I popped into the "big" grocery store for Sunday dinner items. This chilly fall weather feels like roast chicken weather to me. 

I have saved the best for last. Look what I saw on the bulletin board at the Star Store:

Nancy Pearl will be speaking at the Langley Public Library in November! I love Nancy Pearl! Do you know her? She is a librarian who has written some wonderful books about books. My favorite is "Book Lust: Recommended Reading for Every Mood, Moment and Reason." I think she has made it her mission to introduce readers to older books that, to her, need to be revived. Based on her reviews, Amazon released a series of "Book Lust Rediscoveries." She has even been made into an action figure! I've heard her on NPR from time to times on I did not realize she was from the Seattle Public Library, so her presence here makes sense. But I'm excited and have the event calendared.  

The dogs were watching out the front window when I got home, and they are happy that all the members of their pack are under one roof again.
 

And all of a sudden, it's fall

 

My first fall on Whidbey Island has arrived suddenly. Sure, the weather had been getting a bit cooler, and the fall colors have been appearing with gorgeous brightness. That tree is in my neighbor's yard, so I see it every day from my back deck. It's a lovely burst of autumn color in my daily life. But over the last day or two things have taken a sudden turn. It has gotten rather chilly, and it's been rainy and gray and windy. I love it. I really do.

 

Sunday was a cold, rainy day, so I was in the mood to cook. I made a huge pot of applesauce, a pan of cornbread, and a longtime favorite, Potato Cheese soup.

Back in my college days, my friends and I often left the dining hall when dinner options were especially grim and headed to Marie Callendar's -- you remember, the pie place. They had a great salad bar, and I grew especially fond of their regular Saturday soup: potato cheese. At some point I came across a recipe that reminded me of that soup, and it has become a regular family staple. Ironically, a few years ago I came across a Marie Callendar's, had the potato cheese soup, and found it horribly gloppy and unappealing. Turns out my version is way better. 

Want to give it a try? The base recipe is from a California Culinary Academy "Soups and Stews" cookbook. But I vary it a fair amount, adding a lot more carrots and celery. That's why my soup is actually a beautiful carroty-golden color. I think this would also be good with half potatoes and half butternut squash or even sweet potato. Anyway, here is the recipe.

1/4 cup butter or margarine

1 medium onion, chopped

1 small carrot, chopped

1 stalk celery, with leaves

1 clove garlic, minced or pressed

1/4 tsp each white pepper and white marjoram

4 medium sized smooth potatoes (about 1 1/2 lbs), peeled and cut into cubes or chunks.

3 1/2 cups chicken broth (or 2 14 oz cans)

1 cup milk

1/4 pound cheddar or swiss cheese, shredded (1 cup)

1. In large saucepan over medium heat, melt butter. Add onion, carrot, celery, and garlic, and cook, stirring often, until soft but not browned.

2. Mix in pepper, marjoram, potatoes, and broth. Bring to a boil, cover, reduce heat slightly, and boil gently until potatoes are very tender.

3. Puree soup until smooth. Return to cooking pan.

4. Gradually blend in milk and reheat until steaming hot. Do not boil.

5. Stir in cheese about 1/4 cup at a time, until it is smoothly melted into soup. Taste and add salt if needed. 

Makes about 8 cups.

So, I vary this a lot. I usually use one large onion, a few carrots and a few stalks of celery. I often skip the marjoram. I think I usually use maybe 5 potatoes, depending on what I have on hand. I add enough broth to just cover the potatoes, then simmer away until the potatoes are soft. I puree it in the pan with a hand blender.

I almost always use cheddar cheese, and reserve some to sprinkle on top when it is served. 

I've had good luck freezing this. Also, be aware that it will thicken if it's overnight in the fridge, so dilute with milk when you reheat it to serve. This is a filling soup, it's not light or brothy. It's substantial and the perfect soup for a rainy fall day. 

Let me know what you think if you make it! 

Web Travels

 I have  not been out and about this weekend, as the air quality has been dreadful due to smoke from fires in eastern Washington. So, instead of telling you about the highlights of my island wandering, I am sharing a bit of my online travels.

That picture up there is my new laptop wallpaper, displaying a photo I took a few years ago at Bishop’s Ranch in Healdsburg where I have spent many a happy quilting retreat over the last 15 years. I was sorry to miss the recent retreat but what with family events, it was just not possible. Still, being greeted by this sight each time I boot up my laptop transports me.

I knew the first time I came to Whidbey Island that it was my “soul home.” Have you found yours? This is what a Soul Home is and how it find yours. 

These cute Halloween ghost vases would be fun and quick to make with Dollar Store or thrift store white vases. 

Speaking of autumn decor, I think I need to make one of these felted wool pumpkins. 

I saw this photo of flying geese blocks by Amy Smart a few days ago, and I can’t get it out of my head. I think I might need to make flying geese. Again.

If Hallmark Channel’s movies are part of your holiday season, here is what will be coming up… and the list includes its first LGBTQ holiday romance. 2022 Hallmark holiday movie lineup 

Two podcasters decided to read and talk about every Agatha Christie mystery… An adventure with an unexpected ending. Thanks to Modern Mrs. Darcy for pointing me to this story and podcast. 

Come tell me about your web finds! 

Stay or Go?

 I’m not sure why, but it seems like lately I have a number of friends in the process of deciding whether to end their marriages.  Among these friends, their circumstances are vastly different, but I hear some common themes. Children out of the house, retirement approaching, looking ahead at years alone in an unhappy relationship, thinking about the next phase of life. Some have talked about realizing that certain problematic things are not going to change, or have a sense of just not being willing to put up with some relationship issues any longer, maybe even the realization that the friend is far happier alone.  I have been asked a bunch of times lately some version of “how did you know?” “How did you get the courage?” And “what do I do now?”

Here are the bits of advice I have generally offered: 

1. Consider individual counseling. This is a hard place to be, and you are asking hard questions. Find someone who can help and support you. Even if you have great friends or family, you will want a safe, unbiased place to vent, cry, and explore your feelings.

2. One of the most helpful books I read while I was trying to figure out what to do was a book called, appropriately enough, “Too Good to stay, Too Bad to Leave” by Mira Kirshenbaum. The book has a series of questions… not as a diagnostic quiz, but to hone in on aspects of the relationship that might be clarifying. These were not “if yes, leave, if no, stay” questions or discussions, but a thoughtful exploration of what your answer could mean in terms of trying to move forward together.  I remember reading this question: “In spite of your problems, do you and your partner have even one positively pleasurable activity or interest (besides children) you currently share and look forward to sharing in the future, something you do together that you both like and that gives both of you a feeling of closeness for a while?” That question gave me a lot to think about because I could not think of one thing. For  quite some time I worked hard at trying to find or develop some common activity or interest to enjoy with my husband.. The results (or lack thereof, really) were revealing. Turned out my ex didn’t want to make time to do anything with me, really.  (But I am happy to report that one of the new activities I tried as a couples thing led to meet a couple whom I now count among my very best best friends. So that was a happy result, if not the one I anticipated.) 

Here’s another example:  Does your partner bombard you with difficulties when you try to get even the littlest thing you want; and is it your experience that almost any need you have gets obliterated; and if you ever do get what you want, is getting it such an ordeal that you don’t feel it was worth all the effort? Or another… “Have you gotten to the point, when your partner says something, that you usually feel it’s more likely that he’s lying than that he’s telling the truth?” Thinking about these questions not only helped me realize what I wanted and needed in a relationship, but also helped me finally identify my ex’s alcoholism and recognize that it was a huge obstacle to a decent relationship. 

3.  Have an initial consultation with a lawyer. This is hugely important. You need to know your options and the financial consequences of each one. You do not need to tell your spouse. You may never act on the information you get. This is information gathering while you assess the practical effect of your choices. You need to understand what a separation or divorce will mean in terms of your home, your assets, your retirement, and your children.  Many lawyers will provide an initial consultation for free. If you can afford it, spending a bit of money to get an analysis of how assets would be divided under your state’s law. 

Don’t be afraid to meet with more than one lawyer. You will find that different people have different styles and approaches. (One woman really turned me off by saying that divorce was financially detrimental to wives and it’d be better to take up a common activity like bowling to get the marriage back on track. I was insulted and angry. How patronizing. Did she think I’d be out meeting a lawyer if bowling together would solve the situation? It was clear she was not the lawyer for me.)

And by the way, I’m a lawyer myself but this was terribly scary for me. I remember sitting in my car crying after each meeting. It’s scary. It feels like a huge step off a precipice, even just THINKING about divorce.

4. Make sure you know your finances. Make a list of all (individual and joint) bank accounts, and know how much is in each one. Make copies of the most recent bank statement for each one. Identify all of your debts and credit cards (individual and joint) and again, make copies of the most recent statements. Identify your retirement accounts and balances. And make copies of your last few income tax returns. Know how much is owed on your house, cars, or any other big assets. 

This may feel unnecessary. IT IS NOT.  It will help you (and a lawyer) assess your financial position and sort out what your situation would be if you separated or divorced. 

And here is an important thing: you never know what your spouse might do if the subject of dividing assets comes up. I never ever in a million years thought that my husband would try to move or hide money… and it turned out I was wrong. My records and advance planning helped sort things out. 

Again, this is HARD. I remember standing at a UPS store xeroxing old tax returns and trying to wipe tears away as unobtrusively as possible, and then having to go home and retreat to bed for the rest of the day. It’s big and emotional to even think about this. 

5. Choose a very trustworthy friend or two to talk to about this stuff. You will need support and laughter and someone to take you drinking or shopping or walking when you need a distraction. 

So those are my bits of advice. There are lots of of lists online that provide more things to think about.

I recently got together with a friend who talked at length about certain difficult issues in her marriage, and how long she has struggled with them. As I listened, I felt sad for her, as it sounded like her living situation was really unpleasant and stressful and filled with drama. It made me appreciate how grateful I am that my life is peaceful and happy and I do not walk on eggshells in my own home. I’m sure there are people who explore this stay-or-go question and come out happily on the stay side, as well. 

Maybe that is the last bit of advice to keep in mind. There WILL be an “after,” and you will get through to the other side, whatever that other side is. It’s easy to forget that. 

Have you been separated or divorced? What other advice would you give, or what lessons did you learn? 

Random

 It's been a random sort of weekend, so I'm sharing a random assortment of thoughts. 

 Before I moved up to Whidbey Island, I had several people -- more than several, actually -- say things like "but how can you live on an ISLAND?" or "Won't it bother you to be stranded far from everything?"  or "You have to get on and off by FERRY?" 

 Frankly, all of those things were among the long list of features about Whidbey Island that appealed to me and I knew I would love. And it has proven true. I love that there is not a freeway or mult-lane highway on the island. I love that people here take things slow and are always friendly. I love that you can find fish and chips at pretty much every single restaurant. I love that there is water everywhere... Puget Sound. Lakes. Ponds. Inlets. Bays. (My favorite so far is Useless Bay which is a perfectly wonderful name, isn't it?) I love that even on the hottest days here, you can feel the edge of coolness on the breeze from being near the water.

And of course, I love the ferries. Every time I ride the ferry I feel the way I did each time I drove over the Golden Gate Bridge -- which I did fairly often in my pre-Covid life. I GET TO DO THIS as part of my regular life! Saturday morning found me again on an early ferry to the Big World of Shopping in Everett and Lynnwood. I loaded up the back of my car with staples and necessary supplies, then did some fun shopping. I happened upon a Barnes and Noble book store, and treated myself to a small stack of luxury magazines -- Where Women Create, Art Journaling magazine. I was really hunting for a Daphne's Diary (the ultimate self-indulgent magazine) but they did not have any. Ah well. Perhaps next time. I found a fabulous pair of shoes that I could not resist at Nordstrom, and -- woo hoo! -- new dish towels. All that and the thrill of a ferry ride home. 

I am still spending a fair amount of time out on my deck -- for coffee in the morning on the little covered deck, sometimes working out there for a while. and frequent excursions for pup potty stops. There is no lighting at all on the big expanse of lawn below so up until recently I have been out at night with a flashlight to keep track of the dogs while they do their pre-bedtime business. I have to keep an eye on Starlie, as she has been known to slide under the construction fencing if she catches the scent of a bunny or racoon or some other wildlife. This week I put lights around the edge of the deck, which not only look pretty from the house and the deck, but shed enough light across the lawn at night that I don't need to play Dog in the Spotlight at night. 

Over Labor Day weekend, I found a sale on some outdoor chairs -- and the box of parts has been sitting outside since it arrived a while ago. So, yesterday I finally warmed up my allen wrench skills and got them all put together. Another comfy reading and lake-gazing spot. 

Speaking of glider/rocking chairs, I've had this glider for over 25 years -- it was the rocker in Caroline's room when she was a baby. I spent a lot of middle-of-the-nights rocking in that chair when she was tiny! It is a really, really comfy chair -- so even though the cushions were well worn, I didn't want to get rid of it and it came with me to Washington. Recently, I was thinking about a quilt that I made when we moved into the Healdsburg house, over 20 years ago, and how I love it but it has been heavily used and is very worn. It occurred to me that I could cut it up and cover the cushions on the glider, and have the chair in my sewing room. Last weekend I did a quick pillow-case sort of covers and voila. It makes me happy to have both of those memory-filled things in that room.

And then there were the leftover cut off quilt parts. Have you ever heard about "I Found A Quilted Heart?" I had not until a friend found a pretty quilted heart out in the wild, so to speak, and we investigated. A group of sisters started the project, in which anyone is welcome to make quilted hearts, afix a particular tag, and hang them somewhere public to be found. Here is what the tag must say:

I Need A Home
 www.ifaqh.com 
#IFAQH
I Found A Quilted Heart

No names, no maker credit, just an anonymous quilted heart of any fashion. People who find the often post on the IFAQH facebook page to talk about their discovery, and the stories are heartwarming. What a lovely way to put a bit of happiness in the world. So, my pile of leftover quilt has become this so far:

I'll add some buttons or doodads and a hanging ribbon, and the label of course. But it makes me happy to think that that the scraps will have another life with someone else. 

I have to confess that sewing around the edge of a few hearts was the first sewing I've done in over six months. What with packing up, staging, and selling the Healdsburg house, and then getting here and having so much to do with work and unpacking... I threaded my sewing machine, started sewing, an immediately broke a needle because I did not have the right plate on the machine. Geez. Apparently I need to do a whole lot sewing to get myself reacquainted. 

Is it just me, or do inkjet printers have a very short life? I just had to replace my printer which had nothing but problems all along, but finally turned into a very large dead brick. I have spent way too much time reading reviews and comparing printers and finally chose one which arrived today. It's hooked up and printing (which was no small feat given the worst instructions in the world) so I am keeping my fingers crossed. Do you have one that you love? What the heck is it?

May your week be filled with random delights!

October!

So here we are in October already! September flew by in a flurry of too much work and a week of a weird virus that actually sent me to the ER one day as I was worrying that the strange feeling of chest pressure could mean something scary about my heart. But after the appropriate poking and prodding and testing, my heart was determined to be totally fine, and I was told that there has been a virus going around with chest pressure and lightheadedness as common symptoms. So, I now can add the ER at Whidbey General to my list of newly explored places. (I’m feeling all better now.) 

So, fall! Those pears and apples up there are from our four baby fruit trees. The apples are quite yummy. We are unsure of the pear variety and waiting for them to ripen into something edible, but Caroline has been keeping a close watch and loves going down to pick our own fruit.

Saturday had me out and about again, to the farmers’ market of course for my first stop. It was fun to see the first appearance of pumpkins.

From there, I headed north to Oak Harbor to pick up prescriptions from the pharmacy and stock up on groceries. 

This particular store is a very busy one, especially on Saturdays, and they seem sparsely staffed so check out lines are very long. I have taken to using one of my favorite things from Covid-times: the order online/pick up delivery service. I put my grocery order in the night before, drove to the appointed parking space, called in my order number, and had a pleasant 10 minutes to read while a lovely clerk brought the groceries straight to my car. Voila, No waiting in massive lines. 

Speaking of groceries, I was very excited to find Mizithra cheese at a local grocery store. Mizithra is a sheep’s milk cheese that is yummy grated on pasta. The Spaghetti Factory restaurant, which was popular in southern CAlifornia during my college days, served (serves? Is the restaurant chain even still around?) grated mizithra cheese and browned butter on spaghetti, which was heavenly. My personal favorite was half mizithra and browned butter, and half marinara. I make that whenever I can find mizithra, so that was our dinner on Friday night. 

It also dawned on me on Saturday that it’s October, and now officially Pumpkin Spice Latte season. There aren’t any Starbucks (or other chains for that matter) on my end of the island, but Oak Harbor has a whole bunch of them. It felt like quite a treat to even walk into a Starbucks. In pre-Covid times, I often took my laptop to the Healdsburg Starbucks for a change-of-work-scenery, and that Starbucks vibe has a familiar and pleasant feel to me. It was quite nice to sit and read and and sip a bit right there.

Lest you think my Saturday sounds boring, I will have you know that I took the rest of my latte and enjoyed it while waiting in line at Woody’s Car Wash. My garage is still storing boxes, so my poor car lives outside these days. I figured it was time for a wash. Apparently a whole lot of other people felt similarly, because that line was LONG.

I saw this post on Facebook this week, which hit me with a big “OF COURSE” moment. Here in our new house, we have been living in a functional but still not fully unpacked state. And it has been making me feel overwhelmed and cranky. I think this post was meant just for me. So, today I got a whole lot more stuff put away and vacuumed the whole house, and I feel a whole lot better. There is more to do… and will be more to do for quite some time… but it is definitely progress.

I will reward myself with an episode or two of Redemption, a gripping British mystery

I am watching on Britbox. I do love a good foreign mystery. 

What have you done to celebrate the arrival of fall?